Ugh

February 2, 2009

It seems as if I have somehow already been in Chicago for six months now. Its really bizarre to think that it has already been that long. Six months…that’s half a year. I can’t decide yet if it has passed quickly or gone far too slow.

With how breaks have worked with school and the holidays, I have been able to go back to Iowa three different times now. As I sit here reflecting, I wonder if going home has made being here harder. With school having high demands as well as all the hours I am doing at my internship, I don’t really feel like I actually live here in Chicago. It’s more like Chicago is temporarily hosting me until I really decide to move in.

I know for a fact that I will be in this apartment in this city for another six months and after that….I have no idea.

I am getting tired of not knowing. It seems as if I have been in a perpetual state of transition for the last two years. I am getting anxious to be done with school, live in an apartment I love, live in a city that’s healthy for me (who knows what city this is), have a job that I love, and be happy.

With it being the last semester in my program, it seems as if all of my classes reference finding a job and getting licensed at least once every session. It’s really exciting to think about it but also, extremely frustrating since I won’t actually be done with classes until August. It’s too early for me to put any real energy in looking for a job but it’s hard to not think about it when all of my classmates seem to be stuck with a one-track mind. It also sucks that there are all these really sweet career fairs for jobs for here in Chicago and I don’t even know if I want to stay in Chicago.

I usually like fantasizing about the future, but there are days that I wish someone could tell me what to expect over the next two years and what would be the good and bad decisions to make.

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